| Location | Luton, Beds |
| Age | 0 |
| Date of Birth | 7/2005 |
| Date of Death | 7/2005 |
| Visitors | 1,592 since 16/07/2007 |
| Creator |
Mackenzie Lena Baxter, my beautiful baby girl. Born on 14th of July 2005 at the Luton and Dunstable hospital and sadly went away on 21st July 2005, aged 7days. Mackenzie died from a very rare illness called ateriovenous malformations on the brain. If you want to know more about her illness you can go to www.uk-sands.org/. Her story is in the neonatal section.
I miss my little girl so much, she would be 2 now and all I can think about is what she would look like, what words she would know, I have dreams about her as Id expect her to be and thats all I can do, is dream. Ive never felt pain like that of losing my own child and Im sure I never will again for the rest of my life.
Losing something so precious has changed me. I know not to take anything for granted anymore. Words cannot describe the way it makes me feel.
Miss you, want you, need you, love you . . . . . . . ALWAYS! xXxXxXx
Love you xXx
Morning honey, I found your stones at last. I ordered them and ive got them ready and waiting to put on your grave. First I need to find a perfect edging!! I also want new gifts on it too. It was actually aunty Jo that found your stones, everyone was on the lookout for me. It will look perfect once its all done!! Perfect for a perfect girl. Did you see Laci in the paddling pool the other day, she was splashing you. It was beautiful, she told me you said 'I love you' to her. Even if she does make it up its beautiful at 3 years old that she knows your her sister and knows how special you are. Taitey boys getting big, and as he grows he will know all about you too. Hes such a good boy and just beautiful. just under 2 months until your 5th birthday, I cant believe its gone so fast. It seems only yesterday I held you in my arms and said goodbye to you, the worst day of my life. When I found the rest of the stuff to complete your grave we are going to make it look so pretty, Daddy will do all the hard parst and ill do the finishing touches. I love you so much Princess. Keep your sister and your brother safe. missing you everyday xxx
miss you xxxxx
hello princess, missing you so much. i havnt been on for a while. well as you know your new baby brother taite has safely arrived. it stirs up so many emotions in me. he is perfect in every way. we came to see you on mothers day, i hope you were watching us. when your brother gets big ill tell him all about you. laci is growing up, she talks about you sometimes, it makes me cry. she reads my mind and knows exactly when im thinking of you, then says ''are you missing mackenzie'' its strange!!! your going to be 5 this year, i cant believe it. my big baby girl!! i hope i can find some nice stones for your grave, its stressing me out!! i want it to be perfect. thats what you deserve and nothing less. ill never stop missing you or loving you. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Missing you!
Hello Princess. Been thinking of you alot lately. It was Lacis birthday yesterday and I thought of you alot. You should be here with us, celebrating your birthdays too. Lacis got a little best friend at nursery and she has a sister a bit older in the same nursery. It seems so ironic that could have been you two, my little Princesses playing together at nursery. Your the same sort of ages. Its like theres always a constant reminder that your not here. Well Laci got spoilt for her birthday, as you do except she got toys and you get flowers. Her birthday yesterday was the first year I havnt cried, maybe because nanny made the egg mayo sandwiches this time!!!! I thought we might get a little sign from you yesterday like last year but maybe that was me being silly!! I miss you so much and I guess I always will. The grief of not having you in my life is so tough but its part of me now and its never going to go away. Well im going to go now and get some tissue for my tears, just wanted to write to you. Love you so much and you are always in my mind. My special baby girl. xxxxx
Your 4th Birthday!!
Its your 4th birthday today, HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU. I dont know where all the time has gone. Seems like only yesterday I had you in my arms. Such a beautiful Princess.
Did you like the bench grandad made for me in your memory, I bet you watched him making it and knew Id love it. I wanted one since the day you passed away. It will sit in our garden with such pride. Its beautiful, just like you. How thoughtful of all of them. Im lucky to have them around me, without them I dont know where Id be.
I wonder what your doing on your birthday, having a little party with all your angel friends. Whatever you do play nice and safe.
Im feeling a bit down today. Didnt cry at your grave though, Laci doesnt give me time to think why Im there. Ive shed alot of tears for you over the last few days and Im sure there will be more. Its horrile not having you here and my heart literally aches for you. You would be so grown up now, if only I could see. Id give anything to give you one last cuddle and kiss and tell you how much you mean to me, you know that anyway.
I love you upto the moon and back, shine bright twinkle star, ill look out for you tonight!!
Mummy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
God Saw You Getting Tired!
God saw you getting tired,
When a cure was not to be.
So he wrapped his arms around you,
And whispered, ''come to me.''
You didn't deserve what you went through,
So he gave you a rest.
God's garden must be beautiful,
He only takes THE BEST.
And when I saw you sleeping,
So peaceful and free from pain.
I could not wish you back,
To suffer that again.
So true, love you and miss you so very much my beautiful Angel M. xXxXxXxXx
Missing you xx
Hi baby, havnt been here for a while, its so hard. Im sitting here in floods of tears. I cant bear not having you. I wonder what your doing up there? I try and picture how you look, like you do in my dreams because I know you come to my dreams. Your beautiful just like your sister. I think you would have looked alike and I would have dressed you the same!!! Bet you would have hated that!
Laci wants to write to you-
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770u udht yfyy6y6ty9y
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LOVE YOU SISTER
Miss you and love you so much and just because I dont come on here doesnt mean i dont think about you. I think about you every second of everyday. Your my baby girl and I love you soooo much.
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Our new cat - Naughty
Hi baby, I wonder what your upto up there. Laci is at nursery so I just bought her a kitten to surprise her when she comes home. Naughty is his name. He is naughty, he bit nanny when she was carrying him to the car! Hehe :-). She also has seven scratches on her hand. I bet you would have loved cats. This one is gorgeous. Well all the anniversaries are nearly over after another year. I definately think this year has been the worse. I felt so low this year. I think in the future although the pain will still kill me I will handle it better now. I know not to drink if Im upset, probably not at all after this year. I have been a bit silly. I cant help it and no-one understands how I feel, no-one ever can. I would not wish this pain on anyone. Its something that never goes away and never gets any easier. I think about you everyday. Laci says your name and sister at your pictures now, which is lovely. Im sure you two would have been so close, Id give anything for you to know each other. For anyone to know you really. I want to have you here, I never will but I will love you forever. All my love Mummy. xXxXx
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